Memories Like Butterflies, Feelings Like Waves
by handmaidenofhorror
Summary: Homura was successful in erasing the magical girls' memories, but she couldn't erase the emotions arising from those memories. Or, a pair of star-crossed lovers meets again in spite of odds. Kyouko/Sayaka pre-slash


Recently, Kyouko felt as if there was something missing from her life.

Well, duh, there were obviously _many_ things missing from her life. Ever since her father's church business failed, the family slid into poverty, had to move to a tiny two room flat in a block of dubious condition, and small pleasures of her previous life became unobtainable. With her father turning a hikikomori and mother going for one service job to another, there is no way to deny it: the Sakuras were _fucking poor._

It was not something Kyouko couldn't deal with, though. She was perfectly able to cut things from her life, one after another, as long as they were not strictly necessary.

But then, why does it feel as if she had lost something absolutely necessary and irreplaceable?

She has had dreams. _Weird _dreams. In those dreams red and blue clashed and mixed, and turned pink, and pink got flooded by purple, which inexplicably turned white, blindingly shining white, and then…

Well, that's it, there was no then. It was frustrating, like chasing a butterfly, only if the butterfly was invisible and the catcher had no butterfly net.

Kyouko tried not to dwell long on those feelings. She kept taking minor gigs to help her family financially, if only to keep the electricity on and the water running in their shitty apartment. Thank goddess they moved the weekend before holidays started.

As she was dressing up for her first day in new school, Kyouko realized new problems are about to be added to the mountain she has been climbing. Top of her uniform was used, somehow gotten by her mother from a family who had been employing her as a housemaid at that time, and not really fitting. The shirt used to belong to her mother in her youth, midi and wrong shade of gray. And her shoes, worn out after three years of no replacement, were a pitiful sight to behold.

Youths are cruel, and teen girls are the most cruel of them all. There's no way Kyouko could avoid getting bullied at a school like the futuristic baroquesque Mitakihara Junior High.

Recently, Sayaka felt as if there was something missing from her life.

Logically, there should be nothing she lacks. The only child of a wealthy family rushing to have any of her needs met (including an expansive _and_ expensive collection of classical music recordings), good reputation among adults of authority and good grades at school, several female friends (even if she started to neglect them recently, not that she'd been close to any of them in the past)…

Yet, she felt as if there was a hole in her heart.

In her dreams red and blue clashed and mixed, and turned pink, and pink got flooded by purple, which inexplicably turned white, and each time the dream ended in an explosion of brightness. What the hell is it supposed to mean?!

If asked, Sayaka would probably compare the feeling to being a desert traveler trying to catch water with a cracked container. An impossible task, yet necessary for survival. And it seemed that Sayaka was not going to survive.

Her preoccupation with this sudden new feeling (her parents would surely attribute it to depression and have her meet a psychiatrist, which Sayaka didn't want to deal with – perhaps because she felt that whatever is wrong with her, it's definitely not depression) costed her personal relationships.

Absorbed with her own thoughts, she didn't realize that Kyousuke had an accident until she heard some girls gossiping about it (when to think of, Hitomi hasn't been around either), and then she just couldn't get herself to visit the boy (thankfully Hitomi did).

And so, the holidays ended, and Sayaka dreaded the inevitable return of classes. What should she tell Hitomi? "Sorry I've been so lost in my imaginary suffering that I didn't realize others were suffering in real life"? Gods save her.

Kyouko's first day was exactly as she'd expected, but the shame she felt was worse than anything she could have imagined. Before, she managed to hide the worst of the poverty she had lived in, but now it was impossible. Bare, awful truth for strangers to see for the brief moment before they avert their eyes. It fucking hurt.

Sayaka felt a shameful relief that she was not going to be in the same class as Hitomi this year. As she walked in, she realized there was going to be a new student. Her first reaction was "Poor girl is going to be picked on by everybody", but that thought was immediately followed by a wave of euphoria.

What? _Why?!_

Sayaka was left dumbstruck. Why has this girl, one she has never met before, made her feel whole again? (Quite literally, when she first saw the red-head, before she even learned her name, she felt water pouring inside her, felt the cracked container heal and become whole again. _What._) Could it possibly be some sort of soulmates nonsense, _a love at first sight_?!

Sayaka kept watching the girl for next few periods. She seemed extremely folded into herself. She kept looking at her desk and her desk only, and wasn't leaving her seat during the pauzes. With each lesson, the group grew bolder and bolder in their gossip, Kyouko Sakura being the center of it.

Sayaka boiled in anger for another person for the first time in… weeks, months perhaps. And then, the anger disappeared, turning into worry and compassion once she realized that Kyouko brought no lunch with her.

"Hey, what's up?", Kyouko heard somebody say in front of her. She looked up and saw a short-haired girl. When their eyes met, she felt something click into place, the missing _something_ returning, the butterfly willingly landing on the palm of her hand.

She didn't know what it was, but no way in hell was she going to trust a stranger just because of some stupid tricks her brain's been playing on her for months.

"Yeah?", she replied warily.

"My name is Sayaka Miki", the girl replied (somehow, the name sounded nostalgic, as if she had heard it before and longed to hear it again), "and I want to become your friend!"

The girl's bold words seemed to have surprised her. Well, Kyouko certainly was surprised by the confession. Almost like a love confession, huh?

Why was she thinking about love in regards to a person she had just met?! Was she turning into a "Disney Princess" her sister Momo loved so much, out of all things?!

To cover the storm of feelings, Kyouko smirked (she always acted confident and mean when she felt vulnerable). "Are you sure you are not just pitying the girl in a hand me down uniform?"

"No!" Sayaka's sudden outburst made everybody in the class look at her, which made the girl turn red in shame. Nevertheless, she continued, "I mean, there's been things said and things not said, and before I realize it I become not very much liked among classmates, and then you came, and it may sound strange, but when I saw you I thought "oh, this person is kinda like me" so why not become friends?" Sayaka realized not a single word of this was false as she said it.

Kyouko blinked in surprise. To hell with keeping appearances, it's not as if she had anything to lose. "Sounds fair. Sure, why not."

Sayaka felt relief and smiled widely at Kyouko. For some reason, Kyouko felt as if the sight brought a distant, painful memory (that had no right to exist). Before she could ponder on it more, Sayaka started talking again.

"My mother always makes me much more lunch than I can eat, I love her cooking but there's just too much, and it's delicious, wanna try some?"

Kyouko extended her hands to the bentou box and the girls' fingers met. And in that instant, both of them experienced a flash – not of memories, but of feelings that seemed to be connected by those nonexistent memories.

It ended as abruptly as it started, and Kyouko found herself crying, tears streaming down her face and falling into the bentou box. How embarrassing!

Kyouko tried to discreetly wipe her tears, but she realized that Sayaka was also crying. Understanding struck Kyouko like a thunder.

"Did you… feel it too?", she asked, not really knowing what answer to expect, but Sayaka nodded, unable to form words yet.

The girls didn't know what was happening to them and why, but at that moment they realized that they share an unbreakable bond. Indeed, they were soulmates. Perhaps angsting over half-remembered memories of a past life. Perhaps it was something else. One was clear – whatever it was, they will face it together.


End file.
